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Company Family Picnic

I’m so out of place here.

On the plus side, there’s tons of alcohol!

39 Notes

What’s Happening.

So I joined an empty nesters meetup group and attended my first outing the other day.

That was hilarious. I need to age a few more years before I can fit in.

I met a dude at work and we planned on going out then he said he hated cats when I mentioned I have two. Bye. Pussies before Bros. Pun intended. I use my cats’ names as passwords, that’s how important they are and this dude thinks it’s a choice, mehn, people be trippin.

Tim. My human baby, my child, my life! He’s doing great in Boston and school. It’s only been two weeks since he left but my favorite part so far is when he calls to tell me about his week and the stuff he’s doing. Pride. Love, all the feels.

It’s still weird without him at home, the list of bitterness is just as long as the list of sweetness. Why today I bought steak (for one) for 1/3 of the price I normally would have spent if Tim were home cos he eats twice as much. His room is empty though and It still has his smell. I console myself by remembering that I miss my son because he’s away at college. Good reason.

My baby sister turns 32 tomorrow. I remember when she was born, like how is she two years into her 30s already? My other younger sister will be 35 Saturday, 35! We are celebrating in DC on Monday. Joint party.

What are your plans for labor day weekend?

63 Notes

Warning

"How a person deals with animals (pets especially) likely reveals who they really are."

41 Notes

megwhat:

"Dick is abundant and low-value"

megwhat:

"Dick is abundant and low-value"

(Source: ca-thar-si-s)

365 Notes

61 Notes

Thanks Obama

Nah, surely folks don’t blame Obama for odd stuff.

I thought it was a tumblr joke, I swear.

So I asked the lady at work for some documents right, she tells me she doesn’t open her mail because the last time she did, her car interest rate went up fifty percent. It was in the fine print and legal she said, Obama signed it into law.

I’ve bought vehicles in the past, I’m all curious, did I miss a potential interest rate hike in fine print?? So I goggle it, didn’t find a thing…does anyone know what the heck she’s talking about?

31 Notes

Hunter B. Doing her thang…

24 Notes

I went to drop my son off at college and this is the most relevant picture I took, THE sushi boat! Priorities.
In the matter of cleanliness, I felt bad that I inflicted my child on his sweet lovely roommates. But after spending some time with them in Boston this weekend, I realize I have nothing to worry about. The kids have everything in common, I mean everything.
Tim’s happiness and excitement are the cords to the melody of my own soul. He couldn’t have chosen a better school for his passion and talents. I’m so proud of my boy!
Boston is a beautiful city! Parking is highway robbery though, I’m sorry if you’re from Boston but it is!
I’m writing this on ambien and lexapro, so I might not remember this in the morning. I hope i didn’t call nobody’s mama a whinch

I went to drop my son off at college and this is the most relevant picture I took, THE sushi boat! Priorities.

In the matter of cleanliness, I felt bad that I inflicted my child on his sweet lovely roommates. But after spending some time with them in Boston this weekend, I realize I have nothing to worry about. The kids have everything in common, I mean everything.

Tim’s happiness and excitement are the cords to the melody of my own soul. He couldn’t have chosen a better school for his passion and talents. I’m so proud of my boy!

Boston is a beautiful city! Parking is highway robbery though, I’m sorry if you’re from Boston but it is!

I’m writing this on ambien and lexapro, so I might not remember this in the morning. I hope i didn’t call nobody’s mama a whinch

62 Notes

"Not all cops" is the new "not all men"

(Source: delgrosso, via sonnyjohl)

80 Notes

Should I put her in a pot and add salt and pepper?

Should I put her in a pot and add salt and pepper?

51 Notes

(Source: unite4humanity, via katelucia)

57246 Notes

lolabugge:

THIS JUST IN: only thin people are allowed to have chronic pain or chronic illnesses. Fat people with disabilities will be magically cured by weight loss. More at 11.

(via fembelina)

7842 Notes

I’ve been telling everyone and their momma that I don’t read work emails at home and to not expect a response from me outside my working hours.

Dayum, I wish I was that chick who could just let. it. go. because I checked my email just now and saw something that I knee jerked responded to. And I replied all, to all the people I’ve been telling I don’t check my email at home. Shit.
Including my boss.

Granted, I’m not the chick who can just let it go but I’m the chick who wouldn’t let you play me in an email to the entire department.

Yeah, I’m all tough and shit but I just threw away my one tactical advantage. Jesus, I’m an idiot. I couldn’t bloody wait 12 hours to respond???

Now I’m waiting for the response to my response so I can respond. Christ!

36 Notes

Y’all please let me know if I’m talking too much about my son leaving for college. It’s just that this part of me all of a sudden catching all the feelings is not in the parenting handbook they gave me when I had him. Especially since I’ve been waiting for his butt to leave since he was 14.

Do you know how many times I’ve thought, this lil shit can’t go off to college soon enough?

Be careful what you wish for, no truer words have ever been spoken.

Somebody hold me.

67 Notes

Bought some apples last week and they were still in the fridge. Since that’s a long shelf life for anything food my son can get his hands on, I text him this afternoon (he’s at a Paramore/Fall Out boy concert) to please eat the apples before they go bad cos I’m not, he responds cool! <— with the exclamation mark. I’m guessing he didn’t know they were there.  So I’m browsing tumblr and somebody posts something about an apple smoothie that I have all the ingredients for, and I use the apples to make my delicious smoothie. Yum.
As I’m enjoying my smoothie, I’m amused at the fact that my kid will come home and no apples after I put the taste of apples in his head.
Lol, I’m evil sometimes.

36 Notes