Y’all please let me know if I’m talking too much about my son leaving for college. It’s just that this part of me all of a sudden catching all the feelings is not in the parenting handbook they gave me when I had him. Especially since I’ve been waiting for his butt to leave since he was 14.
Do you know how many times I’ve thought, this lil shit can’t go off to college soon enough?
Be careful what you wish for, no truer words have ever been spoken.
Somebody hold me.
I read an entry in my diary from this time last year where I wrote how I was extremely pissed at my old boss for not giving me more responsibilities. I switched jobs in September - the new job is definitely more responsibilities that sometimes I’m too exhausted to think at the end of the day.
Apparently there’s no happy medium with me. But I’ll take busy any day over not feeling needed at my job or just there to have a seat watching the clock for 8 hours.
Also if it looked like I was stalking your blog, I’m catching up from not being able to play on tumblr during the week because of my omygawd!!! busy important, important busy job.
Because of all the financial stress with my son’s college, I haven’t had time to dwell on the fact he’s leaving soon. Things are settling down and it’s starting to hit me, I mean I cried last night. I know right? Me! Context: I was never an affectionate mother. In my young head, I had a job to do, raise an African America son. I couldn’t afford to be sentimental. Foolishness and regret.
Anyway, so I call my older sister and I’m telling her I’ll miss my baby and she goes “well, why don’t you sell your house and move closer to DC?”
See, prime example of folks hearing what they wanna hear. In what universe does me missing my son translate to I need to live closer to you people?
Shit, offer to purchase for me a plane ticket to visit him in September when school starts. Don’t suggest I uproot my life to move closer to family I uprooted my life to avoid way back then.
In any case, sentimentality I’m totally there but I feel my kid thinks I’m brand new, I want to hug him and he’s like are you sick mom? Foolish kid, I plan on catching up on all those years I missed out on.
Because life has been so hectic, I’m forcing myself to slow the eff down and smell the flowers or whatever. So I’m watching the sky right, it occurs to me that I see no birds. Of course the pessimist that I am, I’m like, end of the world, they know something we don’t like those migrating rodents you see in movies. Then I’m like it’s dark and about to rain, stupid.
Anyway, how have I never noticed this before, and where the heck do birds go when it rains?
My true character emerges when I’m pissed at the world. I’m not a nice person when I give free range to my anger. I’m cutting, mean, childlike and extremely unreasonable.
I keep to myself, I’m particularly quiet and seldom walk around without a smile on my face. It’s all a facade and a self preservation thing really. My co-workers describe me as considerate, shy and helpful (not my family, they know me better than that). My thoughts are, keeping to myself, the less I interact, the less people get to know the real me especially when I’m going through crazy times like now.
All that to say this college thing is the most stressful financial strain I’ve had ever, and it makes me literally vomit when I read about some person spending $10,000 on alcohol in a club. And I’m bitter and reactive, and bitter and jealous and need a time out so I don’t ruin valuable friendships, taking my pettiness out on people who have nothing to do with anything.
Switching to optimism- Hoping my boy does me so proud that I won’t even remember the summer of 2014.
If I was vain and self absorbed I’d swear the weather is out to get me. I water my plants and poof! rain. I don’t water my plants cos they predict rain and lol-no rain.
Reminds me of a friend of mine who on the anniversary of her mother’s death saw a rainbow, and mentioned it was her mother happy in heaven.
I admired her ability to completely disregard the whole Noah story and see that rainbow in the sky, over all of Norfolk VA, as a message specifically for her.
Of course I said nothing, no way I would have messed that up for her.
C’mon tumblr, y’all are watching this right?
My kid has to live off campus in Boston.
Anyone in Boston have space to house him for $800 a month? A room would be nice but we’ll take anything at this point. I’ll pay first month/last month and security deposit. We’re trying not to be picky but for my peace of mind, I’d rather my only child be safe so maybe the Allston, Brighton, Fenway (lol, you never know) areas.
Desperate mother who doesn’t understand why a broker must be involved in renting a bloody room! Dayum Boston!
There are three accesses to the pool, through the women’s restroom, the male and the employees’ entrance. We were told that because my nephew is 5, he is not allowed entry through the female restroom. Cool.
My nephew is a special needs child with autism who cannot navigate his way around unfamiliar places without assistance from an adult. The manager Stephanie Brown wanted us to have my nephew access the pool via the male’s restroom by himself. We asked if an employee could at least accompany him and was refused.
We suggested for her to make an exception and let him go through the employee’s access where we can actually see him and call to him on the pool side, she refused again.
We went home because my nephew couldn’t go through.
I really hate people today.